state of mind

Boy, am I in a dreary mood today. I feel as cold as rain (it literally is that cold too...Fall is already on its way out the door). Why is it that whenever you feel low, your blackest memories start peeking out at you from dark corners within your mind? Why do your till-now forgotten insecurities rise like pricking grains of sand and suddenly start blowing around you in a maelstrom? What tails do I tread on, what switch do I accidentally flick to start this chain reaction? Is it just me? Is it just an overactive imagination and a mind speeding on the verge of a crash? Or is this entwined in human nature?

Sorry boys...comes as part of the parcel. Take it or leave it. In fact, take it. Go on, don't be shy...

There are times (such as right here, right now) when I loathe human nature. It disgusts me like a cockroach might. No matter how hard I squint, it still looks as dark and dank to me as the guts of a forgotten cave. The same old cycle, ladies and gentlemen. The same ol' mistakes repeated over and over. The wise learn from their mistakes. Those even wiser learn from others' mistakes. Most people, communities, countries, cultures do neither. Nope, they keep on doing what they're doing, and history keeps on repeating itself like an accursed sine wave. I just wish somebody would pull the plug on the oscillator.

Anyhow, I didn't mean for this to be such a forlorn post (or maybe I did), but it became so of its own volition. And I actually feel lighter now, having gotten this off my chest. I'll IA come out of the dumps in a day or two (that damn sine wave again!) . After all, it's foliage day in New Hampshire! Today, Fall is in its throes over there, and all the trees are blazing with fiery colors. I think I'll call a few friends and head up there, just for the heck of it....